Monthly Archives: November 2017

Dreading a call

I can’t be the only parent whose stomach plunges when the name of their child’s school comes up on your phone. My school helpfully prefaces every call “it’s nothing to worry about but…” This means I don’t panic he’s come to harm, but I do worry about these calls in fact I would say I feel more than worry. Dread is that peculiar mixture of fear and over-active imagination that pervades your day and doesn’t let you forget them for a minute when they’re not with you.

Sadly I have had a few of these calls recently. Incidents have occurred at school. Behaviour they want me to explain or manage. It’s a battle: understanding they have to discipline him like any other child (welcome to the mainstream, kid) and communicating all the reasons why I think things have gone wrong. And then right at the bottom of all these calls real source of the dread: he’s so vulnerable, I don’t know if he can cope and is he in the right place at all?

As the SENCO has said to me, unfortunately they’ll never call to say he’s had a good day. Is this just a low that we have to live with, always an uncertainty about what has happened today?


To the man in the playground who looked down on us…

…because my son is wearing shorts, on a cold day. My advice to you is don’t judge first because you never know.

Whether it’s because Little A doesn’t like change or because he finds cotton irritates his legs, he will be wearing shorts to school rain or shine. I thought I was mean for a little while too but my husband reminded me he wasn’t ALLOWED to wear trousers at Prep school until he was 11. And indeed I wore a skirt and long socks to school throughout Primary School.

He also won’t wear a hat or gloves or scarf. Given his tactile sensitivity he is probably too disturbed by the feel although he may gradually be desensitised. I never wear a hat either so maybe not! There is also the possibility that he doesn’t feel the cold like other people. All his other senses are underdeveloped or maybe just processed differently so why shouldn’t his sense of environment be different from you?

Next time you tell your friend about my child in shorts who must be cold, why don’t you ask the parent if you really can’t keep quiet about your concerns?

Finally, you’re in a freezing cold playground wearing just a scarf with jeans and a tee-shirt, aren’t your arms cold?!

Clock changes

Blurry thoughts from another 4am wake up. Changed the clocks again, didn’t they?

As much a I am enjoying my evenings back with pre-8pm sleep (haven’t seen that in a few years), I am not loving second 4am wake up in a row. Then the other “night” discussing where the universe is at 5am. You know because the moon is still up and so we have to look at it and discuss it. At least I could do that with my eyes closed.

It’s not that my struggle is unique. We frequently get 8 hours of sleep straight from little man which is more than other ASD kids I know. However it is unique in effecting me in this household. Little A is wide awake now. His behaviour may suffer when he sleeps less but he doesn’t. He just feels awake. His dad goes back to sleep like a dream although will be up in a few hours for work. Just me who doesn’t like waking early and who doesn’t get to go back to sleep.

Maybe if I change my clock to the old time? Been woken before 5am might feel slightly better.

Here’s a buzzfeed post so you can yawn in solidarity YAWN