A kind friend wrote to me recently to praise me for all the work I do to help Little A. I had posted about helping him overcome his phobia of level crossings (which I will blog about separately) Clearly I was touched that she troubled to contact me and it did give me a boost for that day.
Except the problem is that my social media output feels like a highly-curated version of real life. Except most of the time I feel like I’m doing a rubbish job. So when I post these things am I telling the truth?
Parents of children with special needs are excellent at celebrating small achievements. This is the main thing we do on our Autism Mums WhatsApp group aka the best support group ever. We post almost daily “guess what he did today” and sometimes I am so happy and proud I share his news with Facebook too. The thing is that if your child is developing at a different rate from other children (they all are of course but when they have a developmental delay it does seem more obvious) then small steps, they’re massive!
So where does this leave my mum guilt that I am “doing it all wrong”? It leaves it in this place of worry and fear that hits you in quiet moments. What if he never puts his own shoes on and he gets bullied in PE? what if he is addicted to juice and loses his teeth? , what if I’m too permissive because I like him happy and he ends up in big trouble? (There is a downside to having a vivid imagination).
In her message my friend said I should blog more about what I do to help other parents. I think I will take her advice not just to help others but also help myself. Sharing the highs and lows was where this blog started. But also sharing the triumphs alongside the trials may help too.
Life with little boy isn’t a direct train, it’s definitely more of a rollercoaster.